Her first school kermesse

Last year, we were in Malaysia when the school's annual Kermesse was held. Kermesse is a yearly fun raising event which involves students performing on the stage and some stands to provide food and games to kids and parents. Hubby reiterated that Kermesse is an event that every kid loves and he has such a good memories on them from his childhood. So basically, missing it is a big no no.

Kids from every grade had had training since March with a dancing teacher. Aelig looked forward to Monday when they had their weekly rehearsal. 

This year they dressed as little cat. Photo shows Aelig and her playmate. She was showing her playmate where hubby was standing.

She really likes this boy. They are in the same group so they sit around the same table every school day. They kiss on the mouth every morning they meet. She mentions him a million time at home.

Since Kermesse is a fund raising event, the school sold us coupon, which we were happily sold to her grandparents. We then used the coupon to buy foods and drinks and entrance to games (sponsored by parents & stands handled by volunteers). Photo shows both grandparents were busy taking photos of Aelig.

It could have been a real fun event but it was raining throughout the whole afternoon. Some dancing involved sitting and rolling on the stage, so students had to alter some dances to prevent themselves from getting wet or falling down. It was also the first public outing for Awena to crowded place, the whole time being tied to a scalf against hubby's chest.

Challenges during my second pregnancy

I didn't announce my second pregnancy publicly because it was a more complicated one, with some challenges along the way.

Getting pregnant:
We know we would like to have another kid. I went to see my doctor to get ready for my second pregnancy. I had to first take some medicine to regularize my menstrual cycle. At one point, I was blocked mentally as I was afraid that by having second kid we would neglect Aelig. She couldn't stand me holding a baby, so I knew she was not ready. And then I was transferred back to my city, I told myself that it was not a good time to get pregnant since I only got into the team. By the time I was ready job wise, Aelig gave us green light for a brother or a sister. I thought we could finally go on full speed but once again it was put off since my doctor insisted that I got vaccinated against chicken pox before hand. That took 4 months. Then I was diagnosed with cervix polyps which led to long menstrual bleeding. An operation was scheduled but I got pregnant right before it. Basically, we tried on and off during two years.  I still remember having those low moments in the toilets after taking pregnancy test with negative results shown.

First trimester:
The day I got the double stripes on the pregnancy kit, I couldn't believe it. Each month before taking the test, I thought the moment would come, but when it did come, my feelings went numb. I put the kit on hubby's desk, when he saw it, he asked me what was it. We concluded that we shouldn't be too happy about it until the first ultrasound.

So we held on to the joy, but still feel obligated to inform our family.

Photo shows hubby teaching his parents what does "a bun in the oven" mean in English. He put a bun in the oven, everyone gathered in the kitchen, then his parents checked online the meaning. They were thrilled of course.

During the first ultrasound in December 2013 (13 weeks), we finally met the baby. It looked real this time. So did the monthly urine and blood test and all that jazz as I was not immunized against Toxoplasmosis. By the way, testing for Toxoplasmosis was mandatory in France, but not in Malaysia as Malaysians do not eat as much raw foods as French. We informed some friends but I still feel unease. I was very confident on my first pregnancy but not this one. I felt that I could lose it anytime. The nausea was less severe though.

Then I got challenged by the gestational diabetes. Me? Diabetes? I was in shock as I'm not someone with sweet tooth. If you let me choose between a fruit and a cake, I would choose fruit anytime. Mentally, I couldn't accept that I have diabetes. I had to prick myself 6 times per day to check my glucose level, during Christmas. That continued for a week, my glucose level was too high after some meals, so the dietitian asked me to continue for another week. I was in tears. The pricking eventually lasted throughout the whole pregnancy.

My glucose monitor kit.

Second trimester:
Moving into the second trimester, my diabetes was under control with some adjustments to my diet. No more sushi and raw food to prevent having Toxoplasmosis virus.

But then we got hit by another challenge: baby's gallbladder (vésicule biliaire) was not visible during the second ultrasound (22 weeks). One week later I went back for another ultrasound and it was still not visible. At that point, we got panic as we didn't know what it really meant for someone to not have gallbladder. My OB instructed us to perform a blood test to analyse if me and hubby carry genetically disorder of cystic fibrosis (mucoviscidose). Kids with this disease do not live long. I spent hours searching on internet about it. Two weeks later we got the result : both were negative. The sonologist told us not to worry, it happened to some babies that gallbladder not visible during pre-natal ultrasound but visible during post-natal ultrasound. My OB also consoled us that some people got their gallbladder removed and they live without problem.

Third trimester:
Gallbladder still not visible during the last ultrasound (32 weeks).
Gestational diabetes lost control. My body couldn't even digest the French baguette (contains gluten). I called my dietitian to know if I have to go through induction as my OB stated that it would be too dangerous for the baby to stay in. We decided to observe for another week, I only ate food that I could digest well. The glucose level was back to under control, we voted against induction, but the baby popped out earlier than the due date anyway. Sleeping wise, it was difficult to sleep with the huge stomach, and I was snoring like hell.

Pre-natal maternity leaves:
In France, for the second kid,  it is recommended to take 6 weeks of pre-natal maternity leaves before the baby arrives. It is possible to push it to 3 weeks before birth and add the 3 weeks pre-natal to the 10 weeks post-natal leaves. I opted for this, but job wise my boss had pushed me to transfer all my tasks to my coworkers. His concern being that I would leave earlier due to unforeseen circumstances. So starting from April, I was on support mode so I got bored. My OB has wanted me to stop working as she sensed that I was tired (I was not and I loved my job). With the boredom at work, my OB suggestion that I could take off anytime, I decided to be on pre-natal maternity leaves 7 weeks before my due date (6 weeks of pre-natal + 4 days of pathology leaves). I have to say that I did enjoy those quiet moments.

Post-natal follow up:
Gallbladder ultrasound was performed after the baby is born. Yes, she has one, but relatively small.
I was afraid that my diabetes would affect the baby in anyway. The nurse took her sugar level 3 times before feeding (from her feet), then 24 hours, 36 hours and 48 hours (from her back palm) after she is born. For the last test, they took the blood sample for lab analysis, and everything went well. I was so glad to hear that my diabetes has no impact on my baby.

It was a tough pregnancy with many issues to worry about. We are glad that all those are over and the baby is healthy. That's the most important.

The Speedy Delivery Process

I know second labor tend to be faster than the first one, but I thought it would still take two to three hours. Instead, we were at the hospital around 12:25 am, and the baby was born around 30 minutes later. Yeah, I didn't expect a speedy delivery process like this! Aelig was born after 15 hours of labor!

A week before the labor, my OB told me that I was already 2cm diluted, but she didn't know when the baby would arrive, she even prescribed me the regular urine test on 20th of June. So, I thought I still have time.

Friday night, I had my first contraction around 10:40 pm. I didn't pay much attention until I noticed that it was regular, like every six minutes. I told hubby, we decided to wait for one hour to make sure it was not a false alarm. I thought the contractions would ease away, just like what happened for my first pregnancy. But it persisted, by the time we left home, it was so painful that I had to stop walking.

We were in the car at 12 am sharp. We sent Aelig to a friend's house, then rush to the clinic. When I entered the delivery room, the contractions became so unbearable that I didn't even manage to take off my clothes. The midwife instructed me to go directly to the delivery bed, at that moment I sensed a splash of water leaked out. Oh, my water just broke! The midwife quickly checked on me and announced that I was fully dilated at 10 cm, so no time for epidural. Oh no, I was hoping to have epidural right away to ease the pain.

I was on panic mood. I never expected that I have to deliver without epidural. The midwife told me that the harder I push, the quicker the pain will be over. She asked me to push right away while she was preparing for the delivery. At that point, I can really feel the contractions, there were so much pain that I felt I can't handle it. The delivery team consisted of the midwife, a doctor and a nurse. They urged me to start pushing right away. They repeated several times that I'm the only one that could make the suffering stops as they can't help me. I tried hard but it was not enough. I couldn't concentrate, my body was fighting the pain, instead of using it. I had several successful pushes but each time I stopped to take my breath but the team kept asking me to continue. I told hubby I can't do it and I was screaming out of my lung. I even asked him to help me. The doctor was tough on me, he asked me to cooperate seriously as there was no kidding anymore. I did try but I think I failed. I had not enough breath for continue pushes.

After 25 minutes of pushing, the doctor decided to use a spatula to guide the baby out. He did that because the baby's heart beat was deteriorating. I thought I could relax when the baby was out, but the whole sewing process was killing me. It lasted forever and the midwife kept pressing my stomach. I had never had so much pain in my life. Because of my failure in pushing, my perineum was severely torn.

Every labor is different, now I know. I don't know if I would prefer the first delivery experience, but for sure I need a break.

Here the proud hubby presenting his daughter : Awena. She is in good health, I think that's the most important after all.

His father's day gifts

Hubby received two father's day gifts this year.

Just like Mother's day, Aelig's school taught the class to prepare a craft work, and wrapped it with gift paper. She handed the craft and a poem to hubby on Friday after school. 

And God sent hubby his long awaited gift : his second daughter. Born on Saturday after a short labor. Hubby is really proud of his girls.

Giant Grandma in Nantes

Last weekend the Royal de luxe, the French mechanical marionette street performing art company is back in Nantes. 

This year they created a new member : a giant grandma with her affectious smile.

The event lasted for three days. The weather was coperating so it attracted a large crowd.

She moved very slowly as each movement was coordinated by real humans. Sometimes she had to avoid power lines or trees so the coordinators had to bench down her wheel chair or her body.

It was a nice weekend to go out in family to enjoy the weather. In fact, we went out everyday from Saturday to Monday (Public Holiday).

From Mother's Day to Parenting thoughts

Mother's Day 2014

Last Sunday was Mother's Day in France. I was not really expecting anything from Aelig, but her school did teach her to make a gift for me. It was wrapped in gift paper. She couldn't hold it but gave it to me on Friday right after her school. At home, she was going to open the gift but was stopped by hubby.

Hubby : My love, when Santa gives you presents, who opens them?

Aelig: Me. 

Hubby : So now you are giving this to mummy, who should open the gift then?

Aelig: Me (without hesitation).

In laughing, hubby taught her the rule : You can open the gift but only if the people who receives the gift give you her/his consent. Ok?

Aelig looked at me, I nodded, then she tore off the gift wrap.

She was very proud to present me her drawing : Sun, hubby, a bird, our apartment with windows and a door, a flower, a raining cloud (top), herself and me. These are her current drawing style.

A poem from her school about mother. Thank you my girl.

Parenting Thoughts

A terrible incident happend last Wednesday in Taiwan which led me to think about the parents' role in a kid's life. A 21 years old University student killed 4 people and wounded 23 passengers inside a Subway train in Taipei. During interview, he said that he wanted to kill himself, but was too afraid to do so. Instead, he tried to kill as many people as possible, so that he would receive a death penalty.

There were many comments and critics regarding this tragedy. His parents first stated that he has shamed the whole family, later they went to the Subway station and publicly apologized. What shocked me the most was that some people think his parents should be held responsible for his act. 

I found this accusation heavy, I don't think parents should be responsible for their children's acts after they become adult. I would say that in the first 10 years of a kid's life, parents have the most important influence over he/she, but later on, friends, surroundings and the society play a more crucial role.

Influence from parents

Just to give an example. My MIL was convinced that parents play a huge role in instilling reading as a hobby for their children. I would say it is true in certain ways. If parents love reading and encourage kids to read, most likely they will love reading, but until certain age. Later on, it depends on who they hang up with. I take myself as example, my parents had never bought me any storybook during my childhood. There was no bedtime storytelling. I turned out being a bookworm since primary schools. I would save money then used all of them to buy books during book exhibitions in my school. I have to contributed this to my school's effort in encouraging their students to read. There was storybook corner in my classrooms. Our library was modern and had huge collections. Some of my classmates loved reading so we just exchanged books among ourselves. 

Unlike me, Aelig has probably around 100 storybooks in three languages at age 4. She loves reading but I don't know if this would become her lifetime hobby. That day she decided to take photos on her books. As for hubby, he used to read but now I'm not sure if he reads a book per year.

Influence from society and friends
In France, the society has become more and more aware of alcohol abuse and smoking issue among the young. I watched a documentary just last week, where young kids partied the whole night and drunk several liters of hard alcohol per person, and some ended up in the hospital. Partying with hard liquor on Thursdays and weekends has become a norm among Universities students. Young teenagers smoke right in front of their school buildings. These are somehow tolerated by the society. Every weekend you see drunk students wondering in down-towns. Police would increase their patrol to make sure no one is hurt, hospitals would anticipate more patients being brought in. Many parents were shocked that their kids smoke or became alcoholic.

In my schools in Malaysia, if you smoke, you get a warning and after three warnings, you could get expelled. Since uniform is mandatory with school logo and name tag, if you smoke in front of the school or in public places, anybody could call up the school and inform the Principal of your acts. As for alcohol, the society discourages it especially for young kids. It is strictly prohibited in our University compound. We rented an apartment and shared with 12 students during our University life, but we had never organized a drinking party because nobody actually drink alcohol or think that party should be associated with alcohol. Most of my friends started to pick up alcohol after they went to the workforce. There are of course alcohol abuse among students (mostly in private colleges & Universities), but this act is criticized by the society.

So growing up in Malaysia and surrounded by friends who didn't take alcohol, I was not used to partying in France. Almost every party I participated in my earlier years here ended up with people gotten drunk with disturbing behaviors. It seems that party without alcohol = boring. All I want to say is that when we grow older, we are being influenced mostly by the surroundings than our parents. For me, the parents in the Taiwanese incident do not have to apologize for what their son did.

Just that day my daughter was telling me that she didn't want to wear skirt because her classmate commented that she always wears skirt. I told her that you don't have to care about what people say, just wear skirt if it is what you like. But she insisted of wearing pants. So here you go, even a 4-year old has peer pressure.

Taxes : Are we slaving for the French government?

Today is the last day to fill the 2013 income tax. Talking about taxes, we realized that we are basically slaving for the government. Just see how much taxes we are paying:

1. Salaries
Looking at my payslip, every month the government is directly sucking around 25% of my salary, and my company has to pay an extra 50% for all the social charges imposed. Let's say I'm earning 1000€ a month, I will have only 750€ in my bank account, and the government is getting 250€ from me + 500€ from my company = 750€. So basically, for each working citizenship, the government is taking half of what he or she costs/earns into its pocket. The percentage may varies depending on which income group you are from.

And this is not the end, you still need to file for income tax, so once again one part of your salary is gone.

2. Beside salary, one might have other source of incomes, like interest rate from saving or investment, rental, inheritance...which the government also wants to have a hand on it.

3. Property (taxes foncières) and local taxes (tax d'habitation)
We have an apartment, so we have to pay property taxes each year.
And whether you own or rent, you will have to pay local taxes based on the size of your apartment / house / studio. This includes an annual fee if you own a TV.

4. Sales taxes (TVA)
With your net income, you are going to spend it on food, petrol, leisure, all type of bills...
Well, you have to pay sales taxes on them. Sale tax on food is around 5.5% if not mistaken, for other items it has increased to 20% starting from 2014. So, just imagine for whatever you are buying, you are paying 20% to the government. Since we are thinking to build a house, the TVA sums up to a gigantic amount which is quite scary.

5. Transaction costs
Buying and selling a property involves transaction costs that we have to pay to the government. For example, to buy a piece of land, we have to pay the government around 7% of the price. This is not all, since the local government has to build access roads linking to the new residential area, we have to pay another taxes once the house is built.

There might be other ways that the government is taking money from us, but these are what I could think of at the moment. My conclusion : the government is trying hard to take money from us. The first three income sources for the government are sales taxes, income taxes and company taxes. Unfortunately, what it gets from the people is still not enough to cover all the expenses, which resulted in budget deficits. In order to cover the deficits, it has to borrow, so part of the expenses are to pay interest rates on debts.

I don't know if this is fair to have to pay so much taxes, as on the other hand we have good social benefits. Some of them are too good that it simply costs too much to maintain, for example healthcare, retirements, free tertiary educations. Many reforms are needed but when you have the best, it is hard to accept a downgrade.

Now I understand why some people prefer to not have salary increment. The more you earn, the more taxes you have to pay and besides, you might not be eligible anymore to certain social benefits (ie childcare, housing allowance...)

When Chinese is easier than French

I have to admit that I don't pay much attention to Aelig's progress at school.

Actually I don't know how to. At the beginning of school terms, I wanted to know what she was going to learn this school year. All I got was a list on a paper saying that she would learn how to express herself in speaking and writing, nothing in detail. There is no text book nor syllabus. We just need to provide several empty exercise books and the teacher will glue printed paper with her work on it. We only got to know what she actually did at school the last day before a school break when all the exercise books are passed back.
Hubby would take time to browse through these exercises, praise her when she did well, practice with her on her weak areas.

One day while browsing through all the exercise books, my MIL teased us that we didn't even sign a feedback book where the teacher graded her on different aspect of her works. Only then we discovered that there was a mid term evolution and we had to sign on a page. Her teacher put a number of smiley to represent how satisfy she was in each area: counting from 1 - 20, writing her own name, finishing a puzzle by herself, able to answer a question after a story telling... Overall she was doing ok but very weak in public speaking, and not able to tell what day it was, not able to distinguish morning and evening.

Well, she knows how to say what day it is in Mandarin, but not in French. This is simply because in Mandarin it is so much easier, it literally means day one (Monday), day two (Tuesday), day three (Wednesday)...so she knows after day three (Wednesday) it will be day four (Thursday). Whereas in French, everyday is a new word, she knows a few but still doesn't get the sequence right.

Days during a week in English / Mandarin / French:
Monday = 星期一 = Lundi
Tuesday = 星期二 = Mardi
Wednesday = 星期三 = Mercredi
Thursday = 星期西 = Jeudi
Friday = 星期五 = Vendredi
Saturday = 星期六 = Samedi
Sunday = 星期日/天 = Dimanche

I think she still hasn't figured out how to memorize these in French. She chose the easier way by telling me that Wednesday = trois (three in French), it seems that she wanted to apply the same system from Mandarin to French. She was also telling me one day that she and her wolf friends are using a different system: it would be day 1, day 2, day 3 until day 9, then it would restart again at day 1. That's how it works in her wonderland with all her imaginary friends. I told her that it was not how it works for human and it was certainly not her to decide.

Anyway, I think she likes to question the existing system and try to apply the easier way out, which is probably a good thing. But still, she would need to know that every language has created it's own system / logic which she has to accept.

A 7€ mango

学无止境 : There is no end to learning .

Years after in France, I still get myself into trouble because I didn't know the meaning of certain words, certain situations...

One day I saw some fruits being displayed at the entrance of a shop. My fruit supply was running low so I decided to step into the shop and look around. Besides fruits, it was selling cheeses, canned foods, local products. A woman was buying two mangos and a bunch of fruits. I looked at the price for a cucumber, 1.50€, and I thought it was quite reasonable. Without hesitation, I asked for a mango and went to the paying counter. The bill came out to be 8.50€. I was shocked but proceeded to pay. What the hell, I just bought a 7€ mango!

I got home and told hubby that I got cheated again. He looked at the receipt and pointed to me the words that explained all : "Epicerie fine". This kind of shops sell luxury groceries. Luxury grocery store? Located in the same area as a low cost grocery store? I didn't really understand, but I know I would not step into one in the future.

We were supposed to be away to visit family so I brought the mango and the story with me. Everyone had a good laugh. I secretly hope that the mango would taste heavenly, but no, it was just an ordinarily mango, it was not even organic. Hubby bought a 1.50€ mango the second day and according to him, his mango tasted better than mine. But there is still one question lingering in my mind : why would people shop at this kind of store when the product qualities are not superior to a normal one?

A house : Light at the end of the tunnel or still in an impasse?

In a relationship we always have to compromise. Hubby and I managed to find one on many things even though we come from completely different cultural backgrounds, but there is one thing that has been blocked for the longest time : finding a land to build our future house. There are two main reasons that push us into an impasse on this issue:

Location : Countryside vs suburban

Hubby wanted to live in the countryside, the ideal situation would be to live in a piece of big land, with his neighbor being cows and lambs. That seemed scary to me. I'm not a city girl but I simply couldn't foresee myself living in area surround by no one, especially during winter. What happens if hubby is not around and I'm left with kids, then something bad happened? Beside, living in a countryside means that we have to commute long hours to work, facing traffic jams everyday. I couldn't stand that idea either. What if my kid is sick at school and I have to rush back immediately? And, I hope my children would be able to play with kids in the neighborhood. Eventually I set my limit : no more than 30 minutes travel to work per way; the house has to be surrounded by neighbors. Hubby also set his limits: the land couldn't be less than certain meter squares; it needs to have exposition to the South so that it will have the maximum sunlight; there should be enough space between our house and the neighbors to have some privacy. 

Urban planning restrictions

In France every community has their own set of urban planning rules. For example, in some communities no flat roof is allowed. Hubby wants his house to have a center patio, so most likely the house won't have pitched roof as required by certain communities. We visited several lands, and had to give up because pitched roof was mandatory. Due to this rule we have to exclude a lot of areas, and each time we saw a land that was situated in a new community, we have to check if they accept flat roof / patio. Besides, lands in the city suburban areas have become scarce, the common trends these days are to sell smaller lands, while preserving agriculture lands or natural lands. In rare occasion when we did find one that was big enough, it cost an arm and a leg. 

Over the years, we must have visited over 20 - 30 piece of lands. We did find some that suited our requirements. We felt in love with the very first one we visited, but the whole project was put on hold due to many reasons. We were ready to move to another city for a land that fitted into our budget and requirements, but the community didn't allow a flat roof or center patio. At one point I finally lifted one of my limits, the land situated 45 minutes from my office, and I kind of like the idea of being neighbors with a bunch of cows, while still able to walk my daughter to school. But after verifying with the neighbors, the land was flooded from time to time. Then you have the perfect land but it was situated closed to a highway (too noisy); or close to a high voltage power line (might incur health issues). I was so discouraged that I completely gave up on searching land for years. It didn't help when I heard people buying houses within 1 month of searching, it sounded so easy! Why do we want to build a house instead of buying one then? I know of nobody in Malaysia building their own house. Then I remember, it is hubby's dream of building a house with patio. When it comes to realizing a dream, as a spouse, I could only give my support, I suppose?

Then one day I saw a piece of land close to where we live now, with the size that hubby wanted. He wasn't keen on it as it stretched our budget too far that we simply couldn't afford it. He kept on searching land on his own, and came back to this land. This time he felt that we could probably make it, but I had doubt, so it was on hold again. But then we keep seeing the land, and realized that it might be the right one : I'm 99% happy for the location, he is ok for the size. I'm satisfied as it is located in a new residential area which will be surrounded by houses, he is excited because houses built in the area came with different shape and roof. The only problem is PRICE!

We decided to try it out. We were so disappointed that somebody had put an option on it (reserved the right to buy the land but nothing was signed). We were patient, and managed to put an option on it weeks later. I was elated, so I immediately asked my FIL to draw us a house plan. We went researching on forums on all the construction related issues. I was overwhelmed, hubby was stressed out. Starting from 2013 new houses have to be complied with RT2012, rules that require a green energy installed in the house and good insulation. When the house is built, someone would come to control if the house meets the requirements. With this rule, houses cost around 15% more. We got a quotation from a builder, the masonry work already costed 3 times more than what my BIL had paid. Obviously we are discouraged.

Now the big question : Do we give up the project and go back to square one or we go ahead and reserve the land?

Food : How we show our love differently

Got inspiration to write this post after reading a blog. It was about a father kept giving fish meat to his son even though he himself loves fish. His wife told him to keep some for himself, he replied : " As long as my wife and my son are happy with their food and eat well, I'm a happy man."

This is so typical in my family. Growing up, whenever my mother prepared chicken, me and my brother, the two youngest in the family, would each get a drumstick (considered the best chicken part). Other siblings would share other good parts, my mother would finish the rest. When eating fish, children get the meat, my parents would clean the rest. I don't know if other siblings complained about not getting drumstick, everyone seemed to get used to it. Now that we are adults, we understand that this is a way of showing love to kids. Now the parents are being served the good parts.

Things are handled quite differently in my in laws family. Kids do not always get the good part, but they try to be fair as much as they can. Imagine my shock seeing my FIL quickly grabbed the last tomato and served it to him and his wife, while their children and me would just fill with what was left into our sandwiches. While eating shrimps or oysters, they would divide them by the number of person then place them directly in our plates. My FIL would always make sure that the tarts / cakes are cut equally before serving them. Over the years, I understand that they have to do this if not their kids would complain who's who got to eat a bigger tart / shrimps. And apparently the kids ate like a pig, they finished everything so the parents have to save some for themselves.

No one method is better than the other, it is simply the way you brought up. Now with my daughter, naturally I apply my family method. She can get whatever she likes from my plate. The other day, we were being served different kind of dessert, she chose an apple tart, but she also loved the strawberries in my tart. So I gave her all, she was happy, I was happy. One day I bought a box of strawberry, she finished everything by herself. It was not a problem for me, but hubby was not happy as he wanted some too. I realized that there is a problem, because she doesn't think about sharing, so from there on I make share she leaves some for others. As for hubby, he wasn't the guy that would give very slice of beef in a bowl of beef noodle soup to his girlfriend like some Malaysian guys would do, but now he would share some food that I like from his plate. I don't know how my daughter is going to turn out, as I'm showing her that I love her so I will give her the best part of foods; while her daddy is more like I love you so I would make sure everything is shared equally with you.

10 days in France - Impression on French cuisine

My friend was in France for about 10 days (Lyon & Paris) and these were her impressions / comments about France. This post focuses on French cuisine.

During her training in Lyon, she was invited to taste variety of French foods and wine in different restaurants. She got to discover the three meal courses culture (appetizer, main meal, dessert) and the long dining time. Some of her comments:
Why do French people eat bread at every meal?
I thought French food was presented in big plate but in small portion. But each time I had too much. Once I got a dessert that came with three balls stuffed with chocolate, I thought it was to be shared but gosh it was only for me, how can everyone finish everything?

And then we had this discussion about chicken breast vs drumsticks & wings. In Malaysia people in general prefer drumsticks & wings but in France, chicken breasts are more expensive than drumsticks & wings. Once she got a piece of chicken breast and both her and her coworker couldn't finish it as they didn't like the way it was cooked.

She also discovered the different operating hours of some restaurants in France. We reserved a table in a restaurant in Paris, and we were told that they only open at 8pm. I kind of gotten used to it, but she was very surprised and commented that most restaurants in Malaysia would have already going through several servings at this time. I told her that this is not the worst, at least in Paris some restaurants are open on Sundays, in my city, during Sundays we usually will eat at home as most of the restaurants are closed. Some even closed on Mondays.

Anyway, after more discussions, with another Malaysian joining in, we concluded that French cuisine are in general much more healthier than Malaysian foods, but in terms of taste they are less strong. My friend and me missed deep fried & spicy foods. So she actually asked for Tabasco each time she ate French food. I'm someone who needs fresh fruit everyday so after a day of French food I badly need something refreshing. We were walking around Champs-Elysees and I saw in Quick a small pack of fruit salad was sold at 5€. Don't you have vendors selling freshly cut fruits at very cheap price here, my friend asked me. No. And worst it was Sunday, so Monoprix was closed. We walked and walked and I asked around where in the Champs-Elysees area I can buy fresh fruits. People we asked didn't know. While walking towards Eiffel Tower I finally spotted a shop deep down into a small street selling fruits. What a relief!

Our Malaysian friend brought us to the Jewish area and let us try the falafel sandwich. It suited us very well as we love fried food, and in falafel it has fried chick pea balls plus lots of vegetables, and with chili sauce!!

Bénédictine D.O.M : A marketing success in Malaysia?

Source

We were discussing about Cognac, a variety of brandy, that is popular in Malaysia, but less popular in France. Within my social circle in France, I seldom see or hear people drinking Cognac, while in Malaysia brand like Hennessy, Rémy Martin and Martell are so well known that they become hot gifts during Chinese New Year to business partners.

Then I told my coworkers about Bénédictine D.O.M, one of the confinement tonic for Chinese women in Malaysia after giving birth to a child.  This tonic is produced in France, in the Chinese name it is even called "French Bénédictine". My female coworker said that she has never heard of this, and it is certainly not a practice in France to drink this post-natal. She was even wondering how can the Malaysian women drink it if they are breastfeeding? I wonder the same. It consists of 40% of alcohol, how can breastfeeding mothers drink it?

Anyway, the real question is, why is this drink being included as something nutritious for post-natal women in Malaysia and Singapore, while it is not in the country where is it produced? Is it due to a successful marketing strategy? So the Malaysians and Singaporeans are being fooled then?

PS : According to Wikipedia, United States, Malaysia and Singapore are the three biggest consumer markets for this alcohol.

Three Malaysians in Paris

I had a friend coming to visit from Malaysia. We met in Paris, and a friend who knows Paris very well was touring us around. When three Malaysians get together, we have to talk about food. And when this friend asked if I was craving for Nasi Lemak, I hesitated. I could jump into any Malaysian food anytime since there is no Malaysian restaurant in my city, but I have to think about my friend who came all the way from Malaysia and could have authentic Malaysian food once she goes back. Anyway, thing sorted out as she just had a week dose of French cuisine and she was happy to try something else. So Malaysian food it is!

We chose three menu with the same appetizer and three different dishes (so we can share among us). The appetizer was delicious with freshly prepared curry puff, spring roll and mixed vegetables (taste similar to Lou Sang).

One of the main dishes : Nasi Lemak. The rice didn't have much coconut taste, I think they have to tailor to their French customers. I would give it 7 points out of 10 points, -1 point for the rice, -2 points for the sambal : once again it lacked the coconut milk, but the rendang chicken did taste heavenly.

The second main dish: curry laksa. The verdict : very authentic and scrumptious. The spiciness was just right at my taste. The ingredients were fresh.

I forgot to take photo of our third dish : Chicken satay. I was disappointed though. It didn't have the thick peanut sauce to go with, and it didn't come with a stick. It would probably suit the local better.

Dessert : corn and pandan steam cake.

Anyway, for 19€ per person, it served my craving well. Thanks to my friend who brought us there, and thanks to the other friend who didn't mind spending almost RM100 for these. With this price, I guess she could have gotten 10 bowls of curry laksa or 10 plates of Nasi Lemak in Malaysia.

Restaraunt Langkawi Paris

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Langkawi-Paris/641337495894394

Note : It is a tiny restaurant with 17 seats. It was opened 6 months ago. You could call them in advise to prepare certain Malaysian foods that are not in their current menu.

A Japanese car : a revolution in the family?

One day while arriving at my in laws' house, we saw a Honda CRV parked outside the house. I was very surprised to find out that my in laws bought a Japanese car,as the whole family was a die-hard fans of French cars.

It never occurred to me that this day could come. A Japanese car in the family? That's certainly a revolution. When I bought my car, I wanted a Japanese car with an automatic transmission. And I got a French car with stick. I have always loved Japanese car, because I had a very good experience with my Honda Civic, the first car I ever bought, when I was living in the USA. It seems that automatic cars are more popular in Malaysia and in USA these days, but not in France. Here are the responses from different people concerning automatic car:
A friend from USA : You meant you are still driving a stick? Oh my God!
A friend from France: Why would you want to drive an automatic car, they are for handicap people!

So when I got my French manual car, emotionally I was not happy. But on the practical side, I know my family was right, it would have lower maintenance cost plus a better resale value, compared to an imported auto car. Today, I'm totally comfortable to drive with my car, on the other hand I have lost my skill of driving in Malaysia. Well, that would be another story.

Back to the story. Why the sudden change in my in laws family? They told me that they had no choice. They needed a powerful car as when they go on vacation, this car has to tow along their camping car. And the French manufacturers do not produce these cars anymore. They had visited several car distributors, and this was the only one that has a manual transmission. Well, it will be another revolution if one day they decide to change to auto transmission!

Hubby and I had a very weird feeling while riding the car. We thought we were in Malaysia! Especially hubby, as he remembered he was driving one the earlier years he visited Malaysia, he found it weird that he was not the one driving as he was sitting on the right front seat, the driver seat in Malaysia.

We did celebrate Chinese New Year 2014

We did celebrate Chinese New Year 2014, but after the 15th day of Chinese New Year.

We did it during two weekends with two different group of friends. Both time I prepared Yusheng, a dish created in Singapore and is widely accepted in both Singapore and Malaysia during Chinese New Year, but less popular within other Chinese communities.

I couldn't find some of the ingredients so I simply decorated it with seven type of colorful vegetables. I like the gesture of tossing the dish with chopsticks with everyone around the table. Yes, the higher the better!

Making dumplings with the kids. Preparing dumplings during Chinese New Year is a tradition in North of China, but we had never practiced this in my family (our ancestors were from the South). We chose this dish instead of steamboat so that kids can participate and have fun with us.

We also celebrated with a group of French friends who had been to Malaysia and experienced Chinese New Year there. In the earlier years in France I used to invite people over and prepared steamboat or other Malaysian dishes, but these years I was simply not motivated. Instead they invited us over to celebrate. It was very nice of them, we had a lot of fun and so did the kids.

As simple as 1 2 3

Aelig was watching a Taiwanese cartoon. At one scene it was teaching kids to read Chinese numbers from one to ten. She could read 一二三 (1 2 3), when she saw number four 四, she yelled and said it looked like a 口 (mouth). When the cartoon repeated the numbers, she was furious and told me that the number four was wrongly written! It should be like this like this, she explained to me with writing gestures. I told her that what was shown was the right way to write, but she insisted the other way, and quickly ran to write down what she thought should be the number four : four straight horizontal strokes, a continue series from 一二三 (as shown on the photo below).

lol. If Chinese characters could be as simple as 一二三, then we wouldn't have to spend hours and hours practicing thousand of characters since our early life.

Sometimes she likes to venture into my bookshelf, picking up books and try to see if she could recognize any Chinese characters. With her limited knowledge, most often she concluded that she would have to learn more in order to read those books. Hopefully one days she would be able to read my books.

Confronted with French alphabet prononciation

The same 26 letters, but in French they are pronounced differently compare to English. I didn't get to learn how to pronounce them probably because when I went to the French school here I started at level II. So, one of the biggest challenges while talking on the phone in my earlier years here was to be able to spell my name correctly, in French.

Today, there are certain sounds I still don't know if I pronounce them correctly. I still have problem with "G" and "J", as it seems to me that they sound exactly opposite when pronouncing them in English.

These days Aelig likes to write. She would ask me how to spell certain words like father and mother and she would write them down. One day she asked me to spell her classmates' name, and I couldn't because for some of them I have never heard of so didn't know how to spell. The other day I was deep into my reading so when she asked me how to spell "Elouan", a common Brittany name, for some reason I pronounced the letter "U" in English. She kept asking for confirmation, and finally told me that she didn't know how to write "U", that "U" didn't exist. Ops, I quickly corrected my mistake, and told the opportunity to tell her that in English all these letters have a different pronunciation. Well, she didn't look convince.

She is very keen into names now. She told her father that in his name, there are two "A". It was wrong as there was only one "A" in hubby's name. She revealed that in "PAPA" (father in French), there are two "A". We finally realized that she thought the word father and mother in French is our name. We tried to explain to her but she hasn't quick grabbing the concept yet. And, she writes only in capital letter.

Sadly, she refuses to learn how to write in Mandarin. I don't know when she would be able to write father and mother in Mandarin. It does seem that writing in alphabet is so much easier than writing in Mandarin.

French tolerance 1 : The traveling people IV - Expulsion?

I can't believe it, they actually took our parking spots!

Last week they were occupying the last row of the parking spots, in which most of the time were almost empty. So my coworkers who used to park in that row just moved to the middle row. This row is usually 90% full.

One thing I love working in this office is that we have no problem finding a parking spot. I usually park in the middle row. However, one day, I was surprised to find that the middle row was also invaded by camping cars, they took around 70% of the spots. Some of my coworkers had to park between camping cars, some parked on the side road. At first I parked between two camping cars and I was very worried. While walking towards my office, an owner of a camping car told me to park in another spot. I think he meant well, as parking between two camping cars could cause problem in case they decide to move around.

The photo above was taken before 9am so there were still some spots left. It filled up quickly. Our managers informed us that the property management had sent their protest to the Préfet (police), some of the camping  car owners already got the expulsion notice. However, they have 21 days to leave the place. So meanwhile, we were advised to park in parking lots of other offices around 5 minutes walking distance. 

French laws, or French police, in my opinion, are very lenient in terms of land trespassing. When they are too strict, things could turn into violence, and they get enormous pressure from the medias and public. This leads me to think about trespassing laws in the USA. I once heard that an owner fired his gun when a group of people came to his property for threat or trick during Thanksgiving. The medias condemned him but he had the right to do it. So, what if the property owner fires a gun towards the sky to chase away these camping cars? I think he would be the one arrested.

Counting the days when the camping cars will just be gone and leave us go to work in peace.

French tolerance 1 : The traveling people III

I was chased by a dog today while leaving the office parking lot. A dog belongs to the traveling people, who just settled down on the parking lot earlier this week. I was driving, it barked and followed the car, I was afraid to run it over as I couldn't really see it.

See those camping cars at the back of the parking lot? Most of them have decent cars too.

They were a group here for a while but disappeared for around two three months. After they left, the property management decided to block the access road with a huge dumpster. Well, it didn't do the job, as when they got back, they just used whatever way they could to get into where they wanted to park.

This time there are three main groups : one at the parking lot, one on the photo here, and one parked at the far right edge of this photo.

This group brought along their dogs. See the small wood house? One morning the temperature was at freezing 0°C, I was a bit worried for these little dogs. There were two dog houses for two dogs plus one not on leash (the one chasing me).

I watched a documentary one day, it mentioned that the laws require each city to allocate around 3% of their lands to welcome the traveling people. However, some communities didn't respect it, so the traveling people think that they have all the rights to stay where they want as long as the government didn't provide them enough lands. The documentary followed a group of 150 camping cars, the leader's job is to spot a new location for his group every week. He would out searching for lands that could fit his group, discuss with his team how to make entry to public parks accessible (by moving stones or destroying gates that prevent them from entering). To my surprise though, they do pay electricity and water to the Town Hall where they stay. Most of them work (selling stuffs at market, repair jobs...), and women take care of kids and houseworks.

Look like our neighbors are staying, might as well get used to them, and the dogs.