Over lunch I was discussing with a friend the practice of some French Universities that publish the exam results over the notice board.
I asked her:"Won't people feel ashame if they got a bad grade compared to others?"
She paused and think. Then she said:"Maybe not, but you know we are not like the anglo-saxon culture who instill competitive spirit in life."
I was so curious to find out that the French has a complete different education system and mentality in class. The system does not reward you if you do good in class, which mean you won't go receive a gift from your headmaster because you were ranked number 1,2,3 in the class. On the other hand, you would have to redo your year if you don't pass.
I remember vividly how my teachers distributed the exam papers. People who have the highest grade would be on the top. So if you were the last one to receive it, you know how bad you are. In my report card I would have my rank in class and the overall ranking with all the students same age as me. My neighbor, beat her daughter because she got 96 instead of 100. These days, parents literally ask kids "What is your ranking in class? How many As did you get in PMR?..." We are living in the world where everyday people compare our achievement to others, and less, in our own progress. This is not so the case in France.
My friend couldn't believe when I told her that during my Uni time, some students stole others lecture notes so that others won't be able to get good grades in class. Yes, this is how kiasu the system makes us. It was difficult to make real friends with the coursemates, as we were fighting constantly with each others. People tend to hide information for themselves so that they would get better grade than you.
Now, I do see the bright side of the French education system. In my class, people are willing to share, and we don't fight much among ourselves. If you get good grade, good for you, but seldom people would get jealous over it. I was very impressed by how people can be good friends during the college life and keep in touch after graduation.
I think it will be good to have a balance between reward and competitiveness. Reward those who work well, but let them strike for themselves, not due to the kiasuness. So, next time if your kid is not doing well in class, help him improve, but don't tell him:" Why you so stupid lah, Ah Beng also got A and you are even worst than Ah Lian. "
We don't have to be kiasu to perform.